my thoughts on dates

While we're on the subject... oh wait, we're ALWAYS on the subject! How comforting.

Let me tell you about my thoughts on dates. I don't like them. At least, those first dates, first stages of what could possibly in the future be a relationship but who really knows anyway and most likely won't be because more often then not first dates are disappointing... if you know what I'm saying. Usually, before first dates I am overwhelmed with the desire to come up with a believable excuse of how I could not possibly come. Half the time, I follow through with the excuses (something I am working on!) a quarter of the time I just go to get the inevitable over with, and the last quarter of the time I am actually semi-excited. (congratulations to you young men who have made the semi-excited list. Watch. Now you are all evaluating your relationships with me and feeling uncertain. whoops.) (not that there are a lot of you?)

Anyway, what I'm trying to really say is, I would like to give you some tips on first dates! Would that be acceptable? I don't need your approval! Moving forward.

TIPS ON FIRST DATES. BY MADELINE.

1. For heaven's sake keep it short. I'm talking 3 hours at the max. First dates are awkward just because of the fact that they are called a "first date" so dragging out the awkwardness any longer could be a recipe for disaster. Short and to the point is the way they should go.

2. Do something interactive. No movies! No places where you have to sit down and be quiet. What is even the point of spending money on someone you barely know, and asking them to sit quietly next to you? I submit that there is no point. Meals are good places for conversation, competitive things like mini-golf and batting cages are good ways to see how this other person reacts under pressure. That's all you really need to know about a person, anyway.

3. Have a plan. I once went on a date where there was a really flimsy plan, and I completely lost faith in the person all together. Girls like to know that you're a man with a plan, full of confidence! Ready to take on the world! Knows how to roll with the punches! That kind of thing.

4. Casual is better. As mentioned before, first dates are already the breeding place of awkward, so if you are forced to be (gasp!) fancy? that's just begging for trouble. Take it down a notch, Romeo. If you're taking a girl on a date who only wants to wear evening wear, you've got bigger fish to fry.

5. Pay attention to signals. This is the most important thing to remember, because you're going to have to address these signals at the end of the date. That's right, the doorstep scene. If you caught on to the signals, you should have no problem during such a scene. And, action! (ha ha). You need to be able to recognize if it was a handshake, high five, hug, or kiss kind of date! You need to know if a second date is in the future or if it is a ridiculous notion! (probably it will be the latter. what? you only end up with one person. duh.)

That's all I have to say about that.

Cody and I are recording tomorrow early early! (ew!) We'll be talking about break-ups. (sad face!) And maybe first kiss stories! (we'll see!) Basically, just get ready for awesomeness.