Monday, August 27, 2012

singles ward survival guide!

It's that magical time again! Click here to listen to the new podcast entitled "Singles Ward Survival Guide" --> HERE!

For those of you not in the know about Singles Wards... here's a quick explanation. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we have wards. Wards are filled with people from a certain area, and they are assigned to a certain building, and a certain time for worship service. A SINGLES WARD is a ward for young single people between the ages of 18-31, because we're all in the same position in life... and also because they want us to date each other. The thing about Singles Wards is that sometimes, they're a little weird. So, Cody and I decided to make a "Singles Ward Survival Guide", which mostly consists of classifying everyone and telling you to avoid them. But, you know. So, listen up and figure out where you fit in the singles ward! And what you can do to not be one of these people!

CLASSIFICATIONS OF PEOPLE IN SINGLES WARDS WHO WE THINK ARE CRAZY

1. Sauron Girls: These are the girls in the ward who think only about the ring. They want that shiny bling on their finger, and they don't care who they steamroller over to get it. They will date anyone who crosses their path to get that 2 carat dream ring.


2. Premies: These are the little 18-19 year old boys who just got out of high school and are preparing to go on a mission. On their missions, they can't be kissing any ladies, so the Singles Ward is their playground. They want to find any girls they can to "fill the canteen".

i do not know this kid. google images.
3. Sour Patch Girls: These are the girls who are pretty jaded by love, and are "sour" toward dating. It's really too bad for them, because someone surely likes them. But they don't even bother anymore.


4. Soul Patch Guys: These are the guys who are getting a little old for the singles ward. They're having a mid-twenties identity crisis. They grow their soul patches in order to look cooler, and try to win the girls over. Silly soul patch guys.

i also do not know this guy.
5. Mission Plug Boys: These return missionaries cannot bring up anything in front of a crowd without mentioning their mission. We're happy they went on missions. But still.

i do know this guy. it's Cody!
6. The Question Marks: How old are these guys? You can't tell if they're a member of the bishopric, or if they're just soul patch guys without the soul patch. It's a confusing thing. Make it obvious, boys. Wear your age on your forehead for crying out loud!

like this guy. you never knew he was like 30 on hannah montana, did you?
7. The Self-Promoters: These are the girls who will lie to make something happen with a guy. It's like when a girl goes up and pretends she likes the same things as the guy, even if she has no clue what she's talking about. Be honest, ladies! You don't have to like EVERYTHING they do. In fact, you can tell them that if they want to take you on a hike, they should make it a short and easy one. If they like you enough, they won't mind.

i mean, right?
8. Overzealous: These are the boys who are the equivalent of the Sauron Girls. They will date anyone to get married. So, obviously, if you're a Sauron girl, you should find an Overzealous boy, and all of your problems will be solved.


9. The Players: These are the cutest boys in the ward that all the girls want, but the boys has no intention of ever dating anyone, even though they take out multiple girls in a week.
it's just... so dramatic. how could I not?
10. Little Engines That Could: These are the boys who are like Players, but it's only because every time they ask a girl out, they are rejected. And yet, they still persevere and ask girls out and have faith! Keep on keepin' on, boys!

OTHER THINGS TO NOTE

Don't date your home teacher.

Girls, don't ask guys out unless it's a desperate situation. Just do your job and look pretty.

And finally, don't bother just getting married without dating. You need to date the person to learn all about them! Put in the effort!

And that's all for today, folks. Catch ya later. Feel free to "like" our Facebook page, DW Datecast feat. Madeline, follow us on Twitter @DWDatecast, and follow this blog! Go ahead and comment and tweet us with ideas you would like us to talk about on the podcast. We love your input! Thanks everyone!

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